Proof of Concept: Birth of the Orgasm Mistress

As the saying goes, I “took a meeting” with my friend known to some as The Most Influential Brit in Hollywood. Feeling at a loss in the grueling and tedious process of rebranding, I asked for his suggestions about moving forward. His advice was to pick a provocative moniker and use it. He came up with The Orgasm Mistress. Shockingly, that URL was available, and he snapped it up as we sat facing the bartender in the dim clamor of our local shi-shi restaurant.

I was nonplussed by this idea. Known as an international anatomy instructor and hands-on therapist for twenty-plus years, the translation from earnest embodiment educator to sizzling sex-advice-goddess seemed too much of a stretch at age 61. I rolled this idea over and over and decided it was too spicy for my mental taste buds.

The day after this encounter, I’m finishing my Gyrotonic lesson when the next student arrives. I nod to this good Brentwood housewife, whom I’ve met previously on several such occasions. As I casually finish my conversation with my instructor, we discuss her visit to a holistic dentist I’d suggested she try some months before. 

My instructor asks me whether the time and money required to work with this dentist are worth it. I reassure her, “Yes, this work will definitely change the glandular conversation between your pineal, hypothalamus, and pituitary. It’s certainly worth it, as your bite influences your entire endocrine system, as well as your posture.” My Gyro instructor agreed she felt her whole pelvis release spontaneously when he tested her bite and cranial rhythms, placing his fingers on the roof of her mouth. I add that proper occlusion of the teeth not only affects endocrine function but also is a critical determinant of mental acuity during the aging process.

Brentwood Housewife in Her 50s perks up and asks me what exactly it is I do. I tell her I do lots of things: Bodywork, pelvic floor work, scar tissue remediation, craniosacral work. She nods, glazing over. My Gyro instructor reminds her with some slight exasperation that she’s given her my name more than once. I discreetly wink at my instructor and seize the moment. I jump in – “And I’m also an Orgasm Mistress…”

“A what?”

Eyebrows raise, pupils dilate. She leans in, her voice gravelly, and purrs “Orgasm Mistress…What IS that??” 

“I help people who have trouble with orgasms to get over it.” Now she’s practically salivating – “Ohhh… I need to come see you – very soon!” 

Proof of concept.